Nothing but lies

 I promised you a post of food atrocities, and this is not it.  This is a post all about our new digs. Deal with it.

This is my new office!

Notice anything green?  Huh? Huh?

No more taking up half the dinner table with my projects and notes!!  The Biker made me that hairpin-legged table too! using what was left (after the movers got done with it grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) of the desk his father made, which is really, really cool and looks so good.

Now as you can see, if you enlarge thisVVV image, duh, is my projects all organized to one side. That includes your upcoming (honestly, I promise!) food atrocity post:

And some mis-delivered mail. The excitement never ceases.

OK now OK OK check it out OMG so this is my favorite corner of the place!!! OMG IT IS SO COOL

All my reference books, the glass bricks (!!!!!) the old Heywood Wakefield double folding bench, my grandmothers' Japanese doll collection, and the wonderful, wonderful HOUSEPLANTS! 

                                     DO THE SNOOPY!!!!

We move on to the kitchen...

...where reigns this very large and unsettling picture of Tony Bourdain, our resident kitchen god.  The Biker bought this (such is his devotion.)  I am still learning to appreciate it. I mean, the eyes follow you 'n shit. And it is highly pink.

Still, it's Tony.  

Do you have a kitchen god?  Do tell!

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Four days ago we had a flash flood here.

During the last part of August and through September, everyone and all the news channels in this part of Idaho were freaking out because of all the little piddly, sad rain showers that were happening. I mean, five minutes of precip.  Nothing but big fat drips and a little thunder in the distance.  Pbbbbtht.

 Newly arrived from the depths of the temperate rainforest, The Biker and I scoffed.  

More irritating were the brief dust storms caused by the weather sweeping in - and I did a fuck of a lot of sweeping, let me tell you. Idaho is covered in sand, yellow dust, and this weird fine, white, fluffy crap, and it all blew into my house, and I was incensed. I went through some Swiffer sweeper pads, y'all.

And here I will pause to laud the Swiffer sweeper.  Holy shit this thing is a  miracle of design. It does EXACTLY what it promises, is EXACTLY what is needed to clean laminate, and is basically astounding and I love it. I can go over the whole shebang here in seven minutes and get every corner. My allergies are ZERO.

So anyway the flash flood. 

The sky gets grey, a big storm shelf looms overhead, there's a few gusts of wind, and we go 'yeah, yeah, whatever' and ignore this. Some rain falls. We hear some thunder. Yawn. 

Then the rain started BLASTING down.  I mean propelled. Driven by the wind, y'all, not just falling, and that wind was coming in like punches from all over the compass.

  You guys, I have never been through anything like this in my life.  This shit was scary.

In  a moment the gutters were overcome and our parking lot was a pond. The streets turned into creeks. The wind would sweep across the water and blow it up in sheets into the buildings! What the fuck! And all during this the rain is not just falling - it's driving down like it's being fired out of a machine gun!

 Roads washed out.  There were mudslides, dead cattle, car wrecks and everything all over this specific little Ontario/Fruitland/Nyssa area...all in the space of 45 minutes.  I mean.... crap. Talk about feeling targeted. Apparently this is a weather phenomenon like they get over the ocean called a downburst.

Two or three hours later there wasn't a sign of it. 

Dirt lots - dry. Streets and sidewalks - dry. Dry dusty breezes. Plants that had been hammered flat are once again standing tall and happy.  Shredded leaves cover the ground and are already beginning to curl in the heat.

Jesus Christ.  This place is so weird. I cannot wait to grow something outside next spring in this dirt and this climate yaaaaaaaaaaaaas.