Do any of you follow America's Test Kitchen/Cooks Country? Have you notice how HAPPY everyone on staff is now that Chris Kimball is out of the picture? I swear, I've seen every episode at least twice, and you can see ol' Kimball getting more and more bitchy and nitpicky the more his hairline recedes. By the last few of his episodes people were literally backing away inadvertently as he approached them - even the Biker noticed. Now he's apparently found a new love and has flown the coop, leaving behind a very, very relieved and cheerful staff. I can imagine the hush-hush private party that must have been held after his last shoot. He was what was wrong with that whole franchise. Well that, and the most aggressive advertising campaign out there. NEVER visit one of their websites. The very least you'll come away with is computer herpes in the form of a deluge of cookies and trackers the instant it comes up.
This is actually what they look like. Really.
Do you ever check your cookies? It's in the settings. They make it kind of hard to get to, but there's tutorials out there that you can split-screen. You eventually find the actual list of of crap, bot by bot, that different sites have been slipping onto your computer. Cooks Country dumps page after page of the damn things, and each one contains other ones and sub-ones and sub-sub ones and other computer yuck. The only site worse in my experience is that one allegedly 'Free Porn' site. Oh, it's free...if you like computer viruses and no hard drive space. Again, the instant that screen downloads the crawlers and trackers start loading. Page after page. What we need to take away from this is CLEAR YOUR SEARCH HISTORY/COOKIES at least once a week. That, and if you see Chris Kimball, hold up a book by your face and hope like hell he doesn't recognize you. Hide behind a building. He's a dick.
He said it, I didn't.
Another thing I don't like about the guy is that he's all impressed with himself for living on a FARM in VERMONT. (I used to get 'Cooks Country' magazine and he'd always write a sentimental, schmaltzy editorial piece on just how awesome he was for living in Vermont and it was just SAD.) You know the type of person I mean? They think they're really roughing it, in touch with the land, man, the real outdoors, tough, maple syrup, colorful fall leaves, mud season, LL Bean - wearing white people with cash. Certain residents of Maine are the same way. Believe me, Kimball isn't out there sweating blood hoping that his next crop doesn't fail or delivering calfs in the snow.
What is this odd mystique about Vermont? It sounds like Washington with more maple trees. I think people from Vermont and Maine need to get over themselves. You live in a northerly state with shitty weather. New Hampshire, New York, Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, Idaho and Washington are all northerly states with shitty weather too and we don't go around rhapsodizing about how wonderful and how 'real' and 'authentic' and 'back to the land' it is because shitty weather sucks and we aren't exactly unique weasels up North here.
I don't watch tv. I run my cookie cleaner 1x/week; amazing how those critters can add up.
ReplyDeleteAre you referring hot cakes, to the PBS show America's Test Kitchen????
ReplyDeleteI LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't think of his name...but the nerdy chef with the glasses gets me hot honey. They have excellent recipes on there.
Just about all the tv I watch is PBS and BBC.
DeleteHe started another show called Chris Kimball's Milk Street which has been canceled! He certainly was a curmudgeon on America's Test Kitchen and he was just the same on his new show! It always seemed as if he was upset with whoever was cooking! xoxo
ReplyDeleteanne marie in philly: Good for you! In the absence of computer condoms, you have to take care of that stuff if you want to protect your...*ahem* goodies.
ReplyDeleteMistress Maddie: I am indeed! And I understand your lust for the nerdly man. I once had a huge crush on Bill Gates. And they do have excellent recipes. The Biker and I are huge fans! It's just...Mr. Kimball might be nerd arm candy galore, but he's the type that will spit in your coffee when you aren't looking. Just know this in case you ever manage to seduce him. Always keep your coffee where he can't get at it.
ReplyDeleteSavannah: YOU GET IT!!!! PahRAISE the LAWD!!! I remember Milk Street. He was astoundingly douchey, and clearly wasn't an accomplished chef. At one time his franchise had four separate television shows on the air and about five magazines, with special editions frequently added, and enough cookbooks being released every six months to fill a bathtub. It's why I cancelled my subscription to the magazine (and then they kept sending me plaintive little reminders and temptations in the mail to the tune of three a week!) because it was just non-stop GIVE CHRIS ALL YOUR MONEY FOR NEW BOW TIES PEON.
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