Vibe Revisted: a somewhat less bitter teen magazine post

By the power of KD Lang I grant you immunity to the following

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Ingenue magazine was touted as 'the sophisticated girls magazine.'  Not too damn sophisticated, of course; more like 'Mumsy and Pater have college educations' hand-me-down sophistication, as compared to the meadow blossom, working-class losers that Sixteen catered to. Which is to say that the tripe was packaged a bit more subtly in Ingenue.

Fine I'll lighten up. Sheesh.

Here we see some clothes that are positively 'Mod', for example. Ladybird Johnson is nowhere in sight. Your fat aunt is visiting relatives in Alabama. Bring on the colors! Raise those hemlines! SHOW THOSE THIGHS AMERICA!!

See? This is something a hip young legal secretary or Congressional page might wear. 

Bonus owl noises.

Ingenue even allowed a little opinion in the letters column....

...of course, those poems had been submitted by 17 year old girls.  So...

My girly side embraced all things Yardley, Chantilly, and Mary Quant. I love this models' outfit so much!

I wanted this So Damn Bad when I was in grade school.  All the cool girls had them.

Liberated?  -naaaw, don't worry. She's just trying to impress a boy!  

You have to hand it to Scotch Tape - this is an innovative way to expand into the 'teen girl, paper dress' market. 

TF is 'knacky'?

Turn those zits into a vacation getaway! 

Look at this art, though. This is the stuff of nostalgia.

STOP:

  HAMMER TIME!

WATUSI WATUSI WATUSI!!!!

They are having a GROOVY SHINDIG .  

This is a young man who knows how to SHAKE A LEG. 

I mean it. This is him. 

One absolutely ADORES this blue velvet number!!! Bummer that it's a Kotex ad. 

(And they're giving away watches? No thanks you. Everybody would know you had a Kotex watch.)

Again, we have Mod-ness - and shimmery lipstick!

What a thoroughly BAD idea. 

Love the font, though!

It's Fall so Let's Wear Plaid!

I don't know why we do it!  I don't know what makes 'plaid' and 'Fall' synonymous! But dammit it's Fall so...hooray! Scottish season! 

Or something.

You see this?  This is Scottish as shit, right? Look at all that plaid. And look, there's some craggy rocks and a dude in a kilt. Dang that is Scottish.

"Just try not to project," said the photographer.  "This isn't about you."

Now these are legs.

Yeah well WHAT IF IT'S FUCKIN' STAPH???

(OO another Sixties font !)

Awesome '60's fonts strike again!

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Ingenue had the stars, baby!

BOOM the Maharishi.

Why did this man always look like he combed his hair with a frog? 

Check out Sammy Davis Jr!

The Orrible Oo and their opinion

A really odd looking Lynn Redgrave...

And Janis Ian, who had just recorded the cringeworthy 'Society's Child' and is about 14 years old here...

The glorious Liza with a Z!

Wow hey man with all these wild tones going down 

we gotta DANCE!  

FRUG EVERYBODY 

F R U G   F O R   Y O U R   LIFE!!!!!

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Now this my friends is an ad for Midol, which were magic pills intended to relieve menstrual cramps (and which were only aspirin after all.)  

Now you see, this girl vvv is On Her Period, right, but she's not writhing in agony in her darkened basement room because she took Midol. OK so to celebrate she's decided to let some people throw her up in the air on a...like, the mat out of a car, or something. 

Meanwhile her pals are all like 'Damn I thought Cathy was on the rag yet here she is letting us toss her into the air on this mat.'  

" I'm sure not seeing any red flags. What about you, Ernie?"

And then there's Patty.

DROP ACID AND FROLIC IN YOUR UNDERWEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111

"I am so glad I joined this sorority!"

When A Good Slogan Goes Bad

...yes, well. Some call it 'touch shorthand...

Here we have The only. ONLY. Hint of what's really happening in the world outside the pages of Ingenue.

 I'm surprised this mention of Blue Cheer even got past final edit. 

Because 'Blue Cheer' was LSD.

You know, like, Owsley, dig.

Yes, there's gas in the car. 

Yeah, there's gas in the car.

Three points if you can name that tune.

You can almost taste the soul-sickness of this contributor, who is clearly over writing teeny bopper content. 

I also take issue with the words 'shemales' and 'groovy'. 

Particularly GROOVY.

..well, fine; groovy.  A word that was breathing it's last in 1964 - and yet here in 1967 we have as Groovy a couple as you are likely to find. (They went out after this party and killed prostitutes.)

DAMMIT 'GROOVY' IS DEAD JUST STOP IT PLEASE

Why did Ingenue go under?  Their astounding lack of editorial presence. Here, for example, is part of an article denouncing 'underage hippie prostitutes'...and who do they quote?

JOHN PHILLIPS FFS  

(Site not blocked. Do scroll, it's worth it.)

This wretchedness goes on to explain that hippies are bad, and slutty hippie girls are just going out there selling it because they think it's cool, but it's not, and they're dirty and hippies and take drugs, and this is where bad choices lead young girls

...oh, and John Phillips is out there watching you dirty, dirty little sluts very closely.

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Turning now from dirty, dirty sluts, we re-visit the heyday of the bumper sticker!

Remember these? I remember the 'Twiggy' one, and the 'Wherever you go' one.

Have some clip art!

Adore this!

HEY!!  Got a five head?  Want to show it off?

...then do your rollers like this. vvv

Do whatever you need to do to enlarge this because it's cool!

That's me ^^^

That's my car ^^^

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And now for the ads at the back!!!!!!

EVERYBODY MAMBO!!!!!!

!!!!!MAMBO LIKE THE WIND!!!!!

The wild and reckless wind

Grandma Groovy (ARGH!) has all your teenage lifestyle accessories!

THEY'RE FUCKING GIGANTIC

Got room for more GIGANTIC POSTERS?  

Why not flip the 'Rishi a few bucks?

Viewers say "You can actually feel and receive the warmth, kindness, and love of the Maharishi."

Now that my friends is some damn good photography. Plus you get a booklet.

Or hey, you're fat!  Why not invest in one of these neck-breakers? (My mom had this. I think everyone's mom did!)

TBH this was a real workout, as long as you kept your balance.

Please miss, it's not worth your sanity.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I had one of  these!  And one day in Jr. High I brought a couple of aspirins inside my ring to school and showed a couple of people, and afterwards everyone thought I did acid.

She looks like she's got a lip full of Copenhagen. 

I mean she does, right?

I think so.

For your next trip! IT'S A MIND BENDER!!!!

And now, my friends, for my favorite ad of all time. You want fetish?  You want savage femininity? You want an endangered species rug? Then

TAME YOUR APPETITE BITCH!

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OK OK that's enough

...for one post!  

     And just think:  we have more to come!

But it's cookbooks so that's OK.