Wednesday, November 19, 2025

Sleep Deprivation And The Ozzy Solution

 We just can't catch a break.  Once again, we have noisy upstairs neighbors. 


Both of them work nights. Both of them are in their early twenties, in their first apartment, in their first serious relationship. Neither of them seem to have any real idea that we can hear every word of every fight, every video game, every party and every session of hot donkey sex.  They entertain visitors starting at 11:pm - noisy, drunk visitors - and they all squash into the little room right above my bedroom and spend hours there, hotboxing, falling down, coughing, throwing game controllers at the walls and PISSING ME OFF. Apparently that little room is the only room with a WiFi access, and Junior can't be bothered to run wires up to the front of the building where their huge living room and spacious balcony are. NOOOOOOOO. THAT WOULD B E PRACTICAL. WE MUST GATHER IN THE TINY ROOM AND VAPE AND AND SAY 'FUCK' EVERY OTHER WORD LIKE (profane, meth-addled) AUCTONEERS.

Honestly, last night? it sounded like they had a giraffe upstairs last night, and it was pregnant, and it was pacing up and down the hallway, stopping only to deliver a calf from a height of six feet KA-THUD on the floor RIGHT OVER MY HEAD AT 1:AM IN THE MORNING.  It continued doing this shit until 4:am. Every ten fucking minutes BAM. KAWUMPATHUMP. BAM. 

This has to be a giraffe record. 

Now, previously, I had gone upstairs to request gently that they keep the noise down and move their escapades to the front of the building where they cannot be heard. 

I visited at 3:am.  And you figure, seeing a tousled old lady at your door at 3:am would be enough to drive home the fact that one's ass has been WAY TOO FUCKING LOUD, but apparently it did not.

And so this morning at 4:am, the Biker set his JBL's up underneath their bedroom, facing the ceiling, adjusted the bass to Ragnarok, and cranked the Black Sabbath.

They'd just gone to bed.

We hope this served as an object lesson.  

If not, we have PRIMUS.


                      AND WE KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

8 comments:

  1. Your kinder than I. I 'd just sent in Primus from the start.

    I'm old school, I'll slap the shit of you first and ask questions later.

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  3. I sympathise entirely, Ms Nations - we've been there, too. In our case, it was the uncontrolled noise coming from the Eastern European "demon spawn" who moved in in November 2017. It got worse - see here and here - so we actually moved out the following February!

    At least where we are now, the "demon spawn" are only in the adjacent flat, where we can throw things at them (we wish!) rather than above our heads... Jx

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  4. Yes, I've been there too, but from a neighbour across the road - so the whole street was being disturbed. We had double glazing installed and the day it was finished the noisy neighbour accidentally drowned himself in the bath. Thanks to the double glazing we didn't hear the ambulance, or the police - slept through the lot.
    Sx

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    1. Are you sure that drowning was "accidental"? Sounds like he deserved it. Jx

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    2. Well, yes, maybe, but I had a good alibi! Stupid twit got in the bath when he was drunk and fell asleep.
      Sx

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  5. Ack! Noisy neighbours. I was fortunate for a while to have Ronnie Fraser next door. He had grand piano and played it beautifully...sometimes at 3am.

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    1. Surely that word "fortunate" should have been in inverted commas? Jx

      PS Ronnie Fraser? Is that the actor Ronald Fraser?

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