Thursday, July 16, 2020

Hard, Hard Thinking Going On

More in-home misheard madness for my huge raging audience! WHOOOOOOO YEAH!!! WOOT WOOT WOOT WOOT WOOT come on alla you, join in!

There has been an ad running for a few weeks that I've paid half an ear's worth of attention to, and it's for a Tyler Perry series called "Ruthless."  Ruth apparently joined a cult, and everyone is upset about it and various other things.  Just a whole lot of upset people. And a cult.

Now I'll register the fact "Oh, it's that ad again," and think of Madea, and trans shaming; then someone announces "They call their selves the Rocka Douchies."

Rrrrrreally?  You couldn't do any better than that?  Because this sounds like something that Madea, in character, came up with in one of her lovable wacky movies and submitted to a focus group full of people transitioning out of a mental health group home or something.  Sure!  Rocka Douchie!  Scares the hell outta me!  Sounds real culty!  My mother is an airplane!

See, back in my misspent youth, I WAS a member of a cult.  I guarantee you it did not have no lameass name like Rocka Douchie.  It had a solid straight up 'we are legit as HELL' name AND logo.  A good logo.  That's what a pseudo-religion needs. A good logo.  The cult I belonged to had a cross for a logo! Doesn't get any more legit than that, right?  And the only thing in their doctrine that came the slightest bit close to biblical mention was to teach that Jesus was a child molester, because the cult leader had been in Galilee during one of his incarnations and seen that mess first hand.

I really wish I was joking about that, but I am not.  I've given you (thousands and thousands of readers) enough clues to look it up for yourself online.  Even off line.  Go nuts looking that up.

But you see, here's the thing.  Once I was in far enough that I heard that bullshit, I stepped out. And I'd heard a lot of prizewinning, fully ripe bullshit by that time too, which I regarded as harmless, and forgettable, since it was all for the sake of keeping my astoundingly hot, yet abusive thieving misogynist sociopath husband.  Kinda wish I was joking about that too, but onward.  Anyway, I stepped out, and kicked the sociopath to the curb, because folks, some shit is just TOO STUPID.

Now you take these Rocka Douchies. Had I been presented with Black Gandalf  and his weak logo who called his cult The Rocka Douchies?  Even as stupid as my ass was back then I would have still thought twice about that.  So, you go to church here locally?  Yes I do!  I'm a Rocka Douchie!  Come join me and wear all purple robes with only your face stickin' out, just like all the other women who belong but no men have to like that isn't suspicious at all and listen to Gandalf Extensions tell us whatever stupid crap crosses his mind like it's true!  There'll be coffee later!

I think way too much about this kind of thing, I know.  On the other hand, I'm no longer married, a Scien-a cult member, OR a Rocka Douchie.  So, yeah.  Think about that shit, kids.  Thinking. That's what I'm about.  I do it for me, and I do it for YOU.
 Here's a link.


63mago said...

Wasn't "Think For Me" a Sixties hit for Doris Day ?

Steve. Because 'Steve' is almost as nice a name as 'Paul'. said...

63Mago: That was the hit song for every housewife in America in 1960. Then they all burned their bras and ate Doris Day cooked in a big pot pie.