Age, Controversy and Bare-Titty Economics

Today, this morning, for the first time ever I have spoken the words "The goddamn government is fuckin' around with my Social Security check." 

I guess this is a milestone moment in my life. Like butt hair, or one's first federal charge.

This is exactly how I am focused and what I am focused on at this moment, just the minutia of my life and my petty inconveniences, because every fucking thing outside the limits of Whatcom County Washington is going STRAIGHT TO HELL. You watch the news. You know what I mean. 

Pride is going strong here. The 'No Kings' protests were well attended and peaceful.  Around the county the Trump flags have come down, mysteriously. There was even a 'Trans Rights' protest in Lynden!!!!!

   I mean, no shit. There was.   

     

We here at the El Apartmento have just officially retired. We filed for Social Security and Medicaid. The Biker quits his job in a couple of months, for good. 

And we are moving to suburban-rural Idaho.

  

Why? Because it's way, way cheaper to live in Idaho. 

But yeah. Idaho.

Believe me when I tell you that I NEVER FUCKING SAW MYSELF HERE in my advanced age, getting ready to leave the West and move inland - much less to motherfucking Idaho.

IDAHO PEOPLE

IDAHO 

I mean seriously fucking IDAHO.

And I might as well add that there is at present one person living in Idaho who has threatened to kill me. 

This person is at large right now, in IDAHO.

No seriously I am not fucking with you. This is a real fact. 

 

Of course this person is Ozzy Osbourne-level permafried from way back, and is in and out of jail pretty often, but with my luck - and you know my luck - he'll be the dude driving the moving van full of our shit, and he'll recognize me.

Those of you familiar with the regional cultures of the United States will be trippin' balls right about now wondering how my sad red ass is going to survive living in Idaho. The rest of you don't have a clue and are wondering what the big deal is, so pay attention. 

 Idaho is, and always has been, very very conservative, a few pinpricks of liberalism surrounded by miles of uninhabited rangeland, ignorance, and potatoes, most of it owned and operated by ultraconservative Big Honkin' Ag.  This is when one of you pops up with 'Well my aunt lives there and she says it's really cool and I've visited Idaho on numerous occasions and people were super nice to me so yeah YOU'RE JUST DEALING IN NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES'.  

Well of course I am.  Yet the fact remains - here in Bellingham WA it is socially unremarkable to walk around being whatever the Lord made you. In most of Idaho, it is socially unremarkable to walk around covered in White Pride tattoos.  

Why Idaho?  Frankly, this is an economic decision on our part. We can't afford to live on the Washington anymore, now that we're retired. Shit's too expensive. 

Mr. AI tell us:

The cost of living in Washington State is significantly higher than the national average, with housing being the primary driver of this difference. While some basic necessities like groceries and clothing are also more expensive, the biggest cost burden is in housing, which is substantially above the national average. 

There it is.   

Not to despair, though! (I write those words as much for me as for you, gentle reader.)  Idaho is a good compromise for us. Environmentally, Idaho is very much like Oregon and Washington. The culture there is a lot like the 'Sixties and 'Seventies we grew up in, and a lot like the Sumas we spent over twenty years in too.  At our age it's nothing to navigate our way through that bullshit, and we know how to find our own people. 

Another thing that Idaho has going for it is next to no suburban or rural 'homeless' encampments.  

I have not written about what they call 'The Homeless Phenomenon' here in Bellingham.  I am going to do that now, and you may not like what I have to say or how I say it. 

  

I have been very poor. I was on Welfare for sixteen years. I've been homeless.  I've been in shelters and on public programs. Having been a poor person, I promise you that I don't have a problem with poor people or homeless people. No. This is different. This isn't a 'homelessness crisis.' This isn't a group of unfortunate people who just need a hand and a place to live. This is a subculture of squalid, predatory, feral humans who take over abandoned properties and lay whole neighborhoods to waste. They are highly mobile. They have money.  They are not people who simply lack a certain background, or the economic 'breathing room' to be nice - they aren't nice, they don't care, they would rather take, and yes it's the bad actors who always stand out, I know - thing is, most of them are bad actors.   It is a different thing entirely from just homelessness. That's what you have to understand.  Within the last four years Bellingham has become inundated with these groups, from the wealthiest neighborhoods to the log booms on the waterfront.  They are busy taking over the apartments right across the fence from me, and my landlord has been battling it nonstop as long as we've been here. ( Remember  my upstairs neighbor, the one who was almost murdered by her boyfriend?  That's what was going on with her. That was the behind-the-scenes story of that.)

There is no way to make that pronouncement sound good, and I know because I've been trying for three days to make it sound good. I wonder if I sound like one of the old people in the Sixties who saw a hippie and started ranting about the end of the world and the downfall of Western Civilization, and I decided that I don't care because it's fucking scary living here now.  Scary and expensive.

I love Bellingham and adore the liberal culture here and would never, never leave if I could afford to stay and be reasonably secure. But, well, that ain't the case, so...we move to Idaho, and I get rid of damn near every t-shirt I own so I'm not shot at a stoplight by a Nazi.

I mean I'd get new t-shirts. I would not be sitting at a stoplight in rural Idaho bare titty. Unless someone dares me.