Westward Hoes

A few years back I mentioned that I had a John Cleese t-shirt - and y'all lost your shit! OO OO lets see the John Cleese t-shirt! 

So today, finally, in an act of shocking revelation, I will reveal a rumpled, poorly-taken photo of myself wearing that selfsame garment!

But first, a little backstory.

I really wanted a Cleese t-shirt. First I hit up Mr. Cleese.com, of course - only to find out that yes, Mr. Cleese sells swag, but Holy Fucking Shit it costs a fortune. 

Clearly he is not wealthy enough.  

I was a bit peeved by this. 

So what I did was, I searched Gleegle images until I found a picture of him that was super, extra cheesy. I saved it, and then I went to Walmart.com and had them make me a t-shirt. You just shoot them the image you've saved - any image you want! and the size you need, and they do the rest.

Except they got the size wrong. 

My John Cleese t-shirt is quadruple extra large.

As you can kind of see, it fits me like a deflated kiddie pool:

Mr. Cleese would be appalled. * Hee hee hee.   

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Holy SHIT I forgot Aretha Franklins' Birthday! GOD I SUCK

OO but look what we have here!  Vibrant and glorious, in splendor like the sun!  

There are safety gays and safety gals! 

Tight buttocks and big hair!

Extra Mod set - check!  

So here you go, my darlings:

Yeah you BETTER watch it.

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It may or may not come as a surprise that The Biker and I spend about $20.00 a month on incense. We do. Really.  

I was going somewhere with this information, but I forgot where.

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I can saunter down the street in my lounge pants, Crocs, and Star Fleet Academy t-shirt, and purchase duck eggs. I can. At the same place you can get goose eggs and free-range chicken eggs too - and those chickens are really free range; you can drive past the lady's house and see them out running around.  The same place sells local honey, local sourdough bread, cupcakes, pastries, and local cheese. 

What is this wonderful place?  An antique store - and a good one, too. They make a fair bit of money off us.

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...except for when it comes to bread. Oh no  no no no no.

I still make all our bread every three or four days:

I make almond biscotti too.

Yeah that's right.  

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This is definitely the image I'll be wearing on the next Cleese T-shirt I get.