KIM CHI!

Straight into the cookbook! No explanation of where I've been!

    !!!!BOOM SHAKALAKA!!!! 

        KIM CHI EATS THE WORLD!     

This was an impulse buy, because KIM CHI BABY!!!!!!!

 

.....and also COOKBOOK. 

A shiny, sparkly cookbook!

 
My expectations were a sad reflection on the fact that I do not get out a lot; as, 'C'mon, that's going to be like an autograph thing, a promo item, not an actual 'recipes that you will use' kind of cookbook.'
I was sofa king wrong.

Look at all the tabs I have in here. Those are all recipes I'm going to try!  

Tony Bourdain didn't get this many tabs.*  

Rick Bayless didn't get this many tabs.

 

Many tabs!

Do you get to see the recipes?  No you do not.  You have to go BUY THE DAMN COOKBOOK to see the recipes.  DO IT NOW.

 

And you need to take a look at this. Dear God look at the way she did the indexes. This is so efficient!

Ms. Kim Chi is not screwing around. I haven't run into anything this adventurous and original in a very long time.  Why are you sitting there GO BUY IT LIKE I TOLD YOU TO GEEZE

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Fine OK where have I been. 

I have been 1. moving on, and  3. dealing with all the goddamn SMOKE.

Oh, and the high temperatures.

Lawd.

Oregon, right across the river from here, is on fire. Occasionally, so is Idaho. For the last four weeks we did not see blue sky.  The sun rose through a bar of yellow smog, and it was huge, the color of a neon maraschino cherry,

 ...and then the remainder of the day it was just a little silver circle in the brown sky. Sometimes ashes came floating down. There were days that we could not see the next block down, and there were days that the smoke was so bad stores closed and people were told to stay home from work - and stay indoors while they were at it. You could practically hear the Christian Nationalists meeping like Beaker. Grab the tithe box! it's Armageddon!

This morning and afternoon we finally saw a little relief. An overnight rainstorm blew in, and the difference it made was astounding. We were all like 'Wow, I forgot how blue the sky is!' and going from the front door to the back door and saying 'Look at how blue this is!' and shit, like a couple of nutbars.

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SCREW THAT LET'S LOOK AT MY TOMATOES

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Here is another picture I found as I was looking for tomato images:

 

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Fine fine fine here is a picture of The Hanging Gardens of Fruitland!

But first, this:

   This was my first harvest here in Idaho!  IT'S SO BITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Devalued currency for scale. Also a spoon like the kind you eat with. For scale.   

NOW ON WITH THE SHEW!

Here it is! Spread across the rolling plains! Breaking several city ordinances and at least one rental regulation by rendering the meters out back difficult to read! YEE HAW!

You will note that The Hanging Gardens are protected by this prestigious association. 

Do not be screwing around in the Hanging Gardens. 

They'll send that farmer-stockman out to fuck you up.  

I have two cherry tomato plants growing in this container (this is only the front half) and they cannot be stopped. 

Here is the back half, lying on that sheet of white painted tin all the livelong day and flourishing.

 All these lovely cherry tomatoes want is to drink water, to bask in the deadly radiation given off by the merciless, murderous sun, and to put out boatloads of fruit. Utterly delicious. Just the basic '100' plant you can get at any grocery store. 

   Here is my pepper plant, growing ordinary green peppers which are not only small, but flavorless. Come to find out that this variety, 'Lady Pepper' is known for that.  Ah well. This is my learning year, I figure. And I figure I won't waste my time on this thing next year. 

   

   I grew Roma tomatoes. Here are some green ones. They, thank God, are DELICIOUS.  Ugly plant, puts out excellent fruit, loves that full sun. Next year I'll be choosing 'Roma' again! 

 

 

I snooked in some Golden Oregano, which, as it turns out, does not like the full nuclear force of the Idaho sun one single fucking bit.  Here it is flourishing in the shade of the Roma. It would be bigger but I keep cutting it off and using it.  If it survives the Winter, hey. Cool. If not, I spend a buck next year and grow it again.

The Roma and the 100's have been giving me tomatoes since last month.  I keep them picked off as soon as the fruit turns pink, because apparently this keeps the squirrels from becoming interested. The tomatoes ripen in a flash in the kitchen, and so far no signs of squirrel damage. To the tomatoes.

   SQUIRRELS SUCK

  

DO YOU  KNOW WHAT THOSE FUCKING SQUIRRELS DID OMG those little shits. I had a really nice set of oregano and thyme in a planter this Spring and they were flourishing. Until some prick of a squirrel came and dug them up and then PISSED ALL OVER THEM BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT. Why the fuck not piss all over innocent thyme and oregano plants THAT DID YOU NO HARM YOU HEARTLESS LITTLE BASTARDS

Watch out for squirrels, is the message I'm trying to get across. 

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hey I love you LOOK AT THIS

From the prestigious Culinary Institute of America!

This book here! It's a textbook! A COLLEGE TEXT BOOK PEOPLE

WE GIVE YOU A RECIPE FOR

Kind of gives you an idea what kind of a three-star hotel kitchen job they're setting you up for, doesn't it? 

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Now you should go around with a baseball bat and check for SQUIRRELS

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*Hint of things to come