Tuesday, July 27, 2021

Quaint Vignettes From My Charming Rural Idyll

 OOO, I made a Conservative pissed off today...!

The Biker and I were doing a little Saturday afternoon recreational spending and we went to a church-run charity shop in Lynden to look around.  It wasn't until we got to the checkout stand that I realized that I had worn my 'Frankie Says Relax' t-shirt with the huge lettering; and I only realized it because the other checkout clerk was shooting me looks, and then quickly turning away when I caught the glance. And this kind of exchange took place about seven or eight times in rapid succession, and I was thinking 'Oh God, I've been riding in the truck all day with the windows rolled down and I have crazy cat lady hair' until glance number eight (or nine) landed on my shirt, and I busted her fair and square just glaring.  Then she realized the bust and turned her back on me completely.  Did I do the dance of my people on my way out to the parking lot?  I did! Oh yeah I did!

Really, this is how ridiculous it gets here in the Reddest Corner of the Bluest State.  This woman's face was just contorted in distaste. Just glaring at my shirt, and her lips just all pinched up like a butthole. Which was in keeping with the theme, but come on.  


I was riding my bike around this morning when I crossed over the small pedestrian bridge we have over the creek that runs through town, and there in the low water below I saw something colorful.

Now my first thought always goes to 'human body parts' because I grew up in Portland Oregon where that kind of thing is something of a tradition.  But as I looked carefully into the water, the upside-down image resolved itself in my mind's eye, and I found myself looking at a very nicely done statue of Ganesh.

This is not what you expect to find in a rural creek.  You expect old shopping carts and tires and body parts, not lovely painted statues of Hindu elephant gods.

My second thought was an outraged 'That doesn't belong there!' and I imagined that someone had picked it up at a garage sale and then threw it off the bridge just to be a dick. I had ideas of fishing it out and bringing it home, too, because, frankly, it's a very pretty statue.

Ah, but then I had the presence of mind to Google it, and sure enough, there is a tradition of immersing statues of Ganesh during a particular festival in August,  just as some people throw holy medals or statues into wells in the Catholic tradition.  (My upbringing comes in handy at the strangest times, y'know?  I never would have thought of that had I not been raised Cat'lick.) I'm glad I did, too, because I would have gladly donned my barn boots and gone wading after that statue and disrespected one of my neighbors' traditions, not to mention their religious figure.

My third thought was 'Wow, the water is really super clean here.  I could see every single rock on the bottom!' 



  1. There is no greater sport in this world than pissing-off a narrow-minded bigot! I have an adult lifetime's experience of that particular vocation - and gawd! It is fun...Jx

    PS If, once the Hindu festivities are over, no-one comes to claim their Ganesh I am certain you'll find him a good home. Although apparently the statues are meant to be made of unfired clay and thus dissolve in the water.

  2. One of my all time favorite songs...fuck that shit. Honestly, letting something like that get her panties in a twist...bah. So where can I get one of those shirts? I would have fished the statue out and deeply repented of it later. I admire your restraint.

  3. Lynden as in windmills and wooden shoes Lynden?

  4. Jon: We just had a Hindu place of worship open very, very quietly here in town last year, and I think it was a special placement not just for the festival, but also in the way of a commemoration of the opening. He is very carefully in the exact center of the stream in the same way that you'd position him in a house, with his trunk facing the 'easy to please' direction, like a blessing on the town. It's so cool! It's like something that would happen in a fairy tale!

  5. Camille: I know, right? She probably had to take one a' her pills afterward or something. I bought it to celebrate this years Gay Pride month and now it's going to be my Special Visting Lynden t-shirt!

  6. The Mistress: Yes! That Lynden! Dutch people! Fundamentalist/Separatist Christians! Tractors! Anti-abortion bilboards! THAT LYNDEN!

  7. Sorry. I'm just a dumb Franconian : What is "wrong" with a t-shirt that says "Frankie says Relax" ? You surely have a strange cultural code over there ...

  8. Mr Mago - don't forget this is the country that has apoplexy and issues lawsuits over Janet Jackson's "nipple slip" or MIA's middle finger. More "pretend Puritan" hypocrites per square inch than any other nation, methinks. Jx