The Weird

 When I was growing up, the school board didn't feel that we little geniuses needed to learn world Geography because 'Geography doesn't matter', as we were told.  This means that I'm laughably clueless when it comes to the locations of different countries and their governments and stuff. Take for example what I learned today. 

Today - this very day! - I learned that it snows in Australia.

I ran across a video of kangaroos romping around in the snow and my immediate thought was 'Oh those poor things, trapped in some shitty zoo up in Chicago' because Australia Is Of Course Tropical and Hence No Snow.  And this bothered me until I checked online and discovered that yes, the video was taken in Australia, and yes, actual snow falls on Australia. 

This lead to the discovery that there is such a thing as the Australian Alps, where people ski.  Well now of course my mind is completely blown so I need a Bloody Mary. I'm just sitting here sipping my tasty beverage and mulling over the whole snow in Australia concept.  Who the fuck knew.

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Inexplicable DeVice requested pictures of my attempts to be arty, so here you go:

Sorry for the reflections.  The two white things are fortunes out of fortune cookies that I jammed in the frame there, not part of the fookin' ART.  Which is a collage of hand-laid papers with three layers of overprinting and stain that you can't see.  Not because it's secret, but because I can't take a photo to save my ass, so these images are all bleached out.        

This is one of the few paintings I've done.  I used three layers of acrylic overpaint on top of strips of tape.  When it dried I pulled off the tape, which pulled off uneven oblong patches of overpaint and left jagged edges, which made me happy. This is vivid blue with tiny patches of Screaming Paris Pink.

I go through weird periods of time when I get obsessed with the color blue, to the point that there are certain shades that literally make my mouth water, which is super weird, but there you go.  Then it goes away for awhile. And then it comes back, and I plant a zillion blue flowers, or I paint my bathroom orchid blue, or I do blue 'art'.  This ^^^ is what I did last Summer when the color blue was all up in my shit.  Then came this last Winter, and the color blue came back to visit, and I did a bunch of blue turtle embroideries.

Like this guy.    

I don't know if color obsession is an ADHD thing or not.  I do know that there's a component of sensory crossover because normally I don't want to eat non-food items, but I would eat the colors peacock blue, indigo, and (car paint color) Banner Blue because I find them literally mouth-watering.  And I'm not playing this for laughs either.  It gets this way.  Basically I am a mess. 

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Gilbert Shelton famously wrote 'Smoking pot and drinking beer is like pissing into the wind' and while that doesn't quite capture the tone of what's to follow, it just came to mind, so yeah.  

I do know that I'll not be smoking pot and drinking hard liquor again any time soon. I had forgotten that thing where you drop off to sleep like a sack of shit, only to wake up suddenly in the middle of the night feeling all janky, having to take a desperate steaming pot piss. Stagger off to the bathroom, leave it smelling like the alley behind the middle school, get back to bed and can't sleep, because every time you start to drop off your heart rate ramps up and you're listening for intruders and shit, and this happens over and over until you finally get too exhausted to rally the adrenaline anymore. Then you wake up around noon and you smell like the used towel bin at the Pot Olympics, and you've got atomic cottonmouth so you drink out of the faucet until you gurgle. Then you eat three orange marmalade sandwiches, and that makes your teeth squeak, and you sit and worry about diabetes all afternoon.  

Or maybe that's all me. Nonetheless.  Thought I'd mention it.