What Makes You Feel Lively?

 You know what is not cute is feaguing.  And I'll tell you why. 

Feaguing is when you stick a live eel up a horse's ass. 

Knock knock! GUESS WHO?     

Yes it is. 

Feague Definition & Meaning | YourDictionary

There is even a SONG about it. Guess where it comes from? 

 Come on. Guess. 

I'll give you a hint: It comes from a country where people danced to a song about sticking eels up a horse's butt.  

Feaguing Before Ginger: A Lively Horse Discussion - The Eels of History: Dead Fish Stories (historiacartarum.org)

I mean what in the hell. What in the hell. Come on.

Why was I even looking up this stuff?  

I wasn't!  Really! I was looking up a recipe for seafood cocktail sauce!

The ingredient that gives cocktail sauce that kick is horseradish. I was wondering if I could sub in a red radish, or even a daikon, and so I began my search at horseradish.  

Read read read. Scroll scroll scroll. I'm suddenly getting a lot of equestrian related results, so I hit a link, and...

Gingering!  Yes, that ginger. A root vegetable with a sordid history, apparently.

 Use? It's the same idea as feagueing, just not with an eel.  

Now ask me about horseradish. (Hey, so what's the deal with horseradish anyway, 'Nations?) Funny you should ask.  Gingering was the way nice people livened up their horses. Mean people? stuck a

Whole Peeled Horseradish   

  ...up there.      

Yes. Yes. You or someone you love just...sticks it right up there. Right up that horse butt.

1. Who looked at a horse and said to, say, Abraham Lincoln, 'You know what we should do? We should stick a whole peeled horseradish up that horses' ass.'  Think about this the next time someone hands you a five.  Yes yes I read the article, but who would just go up and say something like that to Abraham Lincoln?

Oh, and  this practice is the reason that people call that particular plant 'Horseradish'. I know our parents told us it was because you had to be strong as a horse to eat it but they were LYING.

 I, after more clicking and reading and needing to pause to sort out my head, chose a link at random, and whaddya know? I found out how mixed drinks got the slang name 'cocktail'!  

A look at the (possibly) vulgar origin of the word ‘cocktail’ | WLNS 6 News

This makes so much sense that my mind is settled on the subject.  It's exactly the kind of barnyard raunch you expect to come out of old-time drinking culture.

Now see? Here we are right back at 'cocktail' again. It's that six degrees of separation thing at work, or however many degrees. And I'm still in the dark about radishes.

_______________________________

OK FINE yes. You in the back there. Savannah. To answer your question: Yes. People do this to each other too. Or to themselves.  It's called figging. Well it is in horses too, called figging, but mostly in people. Now that's me assuming based on what I've read online. Quit looking at me like that.

2. Once again I'm left wondering who first thought 'You know what I'm going to do with this piece of ginger? I'm going to jam it straight up my butt."  And they asked their neighbor soccer great Lionel Messi 'What do you think about me jamming this up my butt?" and he said "Never speak to me again or I'll call the landlord." 

This is just how I think it probably happened. So quit bugging me about it, Savannah. I mean it.