Tiny Kitchen VEGETAL action 3000 DANGER

(NOTE: Updated to remove the serrano peppers from the recipe  below.)

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If you have to lose part of a finger, you could do it in worse causes than frying up a bunch of Veggie Fritters!

  Just me, cast iron, and Raw Heat.   And a few spatters. Sue me.

Here is a staged shot of some super sexy fritters.  Offensive mug? Check!  Random cream sherry bottle?  Check!  Awesome fritters that you wish you had?  All present and accounted for!

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I have ventured out into the County, I have gone North; I have traversed the dairylands and the broad plains of America and reaped the bounty of the Rural Northwest!

This is all farm bought and locally grown, just up the way on Alm Hill, two miles down the road from Sumas.

I am going to make my.....

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DEATH SAUCE 3000 RECIPE!!!!!!HOLY SHIT WOW 

Read all the way through before attempting. Once you commit, it's on.

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Ten orange harbanero peppers

-yes, ten.

-Two mild red bell peppers (they don't need to be red, that's just for prettiness' sake.)

Stem, seed, halve, and run peppers under broiler until the skins char. You want them more toward the burned 'Oh God No' side than just a few specks of black. That done?  Straight into the blender, char and all!

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-One whole white onion, chopped to fit into a blender

-One tblsp. white pepper

-2 tablespoons fresh garlic

-Five Brightly colored Nasturtium Blossoms

-Lime juice/Grapefruit juice/Lemon Juice/Rice Wine Vinegar- pick one or all, just so long as you have that acid in there to help preserve things. (I used lime juice and rice wine vinegar.)

No charring required. Dump it all in the blender! 

BLEND BLEND BLEND

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INGREDIENTS TO TASTE AND PREFERENCE:

Fresh Cilantro - not everybody's cup of tea. (I used 1/4 cup.)

Salt

Sugar/orange marmelade, or if you're feeling frisky, one carrot  (I used orange marmelade)

Super Secret Ingredient - see below WOW it's citric acid shhhhhhh

You get to decide how much or how little!

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-Blend all ingredients to a liquid, or as close as you can manage. Yes, char and all.

-Taste - carefully.

-Add lemon juice or the acid of your preference until you notice the flavor distinctly 

-Taste - carefully.

-Add salt to taste

-Add the sweetener of your choice - or skip altogether. I used orange marmelade.

Taste - carefully.

---SUPER SECRET INGREDIENT!!!  One level teaspoonful of Citric Acid, and perhaps a bit more, to taste. (I used the teaspoonful. It makes the sauce.)  SHH TELL NO ONE

Taste - carefully.

Done???

--Bottle and refrigerate and let it sit for three months. This type of thick sauce will stick to ribs, wings, infants; whatever.

OR...

-For a Tabasco-style runny sauce, put the ingredients through a juicer instead of the blender, or strain out the pulp by pressing through a sieve, squishing in a ricer, or hanging in a cheesecloth, then bottle and refrigerate the collected juice for three months.

-This isn't just hot. It's also delicious - AND hot. 

Really, really hot.

I dare ya.