I was moved to poetry, and you reap the benefits.
Enjoy.
_______________________________________________________
Someone had a vision.
A vision, and a very heavy accent.
________________________________________________
DAY DRINKING
You need to know what's on tap here at the El Apartmento.
I can tell. Don't lie.
Kulshan: Bastard Kat
Ten Barrel Brewing: All Ways Down
Lagunitas: Little Sumpin' Sumpin'
Pelican Bay: Hazy IPA, Kiwanda, Beak Breaker
Kulshan: Bastard Kat
Ten Barrel Brewing: All Ways Down
Lagunitas: Little Sumpin' Sumpin'
Pelican Bay: Hazy IPA, Kiwanda, Beak Breaker
North Fork: Porter, Scotch Ale, ESB (nitro), Son of Toad
Excellent clean straightforward beers
All of them local
All with stupid names.
_______________________________________
I AM A GROWN WOMAN DAMMIT
Jesus Christ look at the list of beers I like.
It's up there ^^^
Look at all those stupid fucking names.
What was wrong with Olympia?
Olympia.
That's a great name for a beer.
Tactical Nuclear Penguin is not.
Soft Dookie is not.
Septic Weeping Cyst is not.
Don't make me have to say that to a bartender.
________________________________________
WTF AMERICA
WTF America fruity beer.
Why do you think I want fruity fucking beer.
Ew.
It's not beautiful or appropriate.
I mean Honestly People
who wants raspberry kiwi beer.
Why is there grapefruit beer
Why is there coffee beer
Who wants this swill
People who have too many cats and think it's edgy is who.
Underage wannabes who vape is who.
What does this say about us as a people America.
______________________________________________
MEET THE McRECTANGLE
MEET THE McRECTANGLE
Ask Your Bartender For These Fine FirstNations Brands:
Sit On My Hand
Septicaemia
Green Orifice
More Than Ten Cockroaches
Breathalyzer
Dangly Flaps
Ted Nugent
Oh Look A Dead Bird
Rugose Cone
C Student
Foetus
Certified (IPC Standard 1945)
El Apartmento Brewing
Bellingham WA
I Have A Yeast Infection
Kegs To Go
Strange beer names are pretty common over here, too - try:
ReplyDeleteCrippledick
Bishop's Finger
Tickle Brain
Old Tosspot
Wonkey Donkey
John Willies
Hello My Name is Ingrid
Dirty Tackle
Waggle Dance
Old Speckled Hen
Weird Beard
Wyre Piddle
Holy Hoppin' Hell
...and there are so many more where they come from! Jx
"Yes, I'll have the Bishops' Finger, please."
DeleteI'd be surprised if they weren't keeping their heads down at the moment - with all that's going on, Bishop-wise! Jx
DeleteBut ours have a rustic charm, Jon, don't they? I think 'I have a Yeast Infection' and 'Septic Weeping Cyst' are on some other level!!!
ReplyDeleteSx
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Delete...that's because I made those up! *runs*
DeleteYou are on some other level, Ms Nations!!!
DeleteSx
There's a reason I only drink Stella Artois or Guinness and I think it's to stay away for funky names! xoxo
ReplyDeleteThose are both great - especially a nice cold Guinness on tap, with nitro....yum! I love that stuff.
DeleteI'm quite partial to a Red Biddy if you have one, failing that I'll have a glass of chilled Dangly Flaps on ice with a pink cocktail parasol, I don't ask for much.
ReplyDeleteComing right up *bustling around in cocktail apron and maribou slippers*
DeleteOh I do love it when you are in 'Full on Rant Mode'
ReplyDeleteI am very partial to the 'Bishops Finger and always have it when I can get it.