Flip a coin like a responsible adult and blame chance

 Where have I been?  

PROCRASTINATING.  

  

...just being all semi-clad  running up a hill, y'all.  

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Good news!  We qualify for subsidized housing! What that means is two things:  1. We, being all old and shit, can save lots of money on our rent, and most importantly,  2. this means that we don't have to up stakes three years down the road and move to motherfucking Kentucky when the Biker retires.

The Biker has been trying to talk me into the Kentucky idea for decades now.  It all began when we were doing a lot of motorcycle touring, and he began looking up places that are well-known for having beautiful motorways.  He found one in Kentucky and that sealed the deal for him. We would move to Kentucky and I don't know, just motorcycle around looking at poverty or something.

Because Kentucky is not a place where most people have a lot of money. You won't find a lot of liberal politics there either. What you will find is hundreds of dying little towns scattered throughout the mountains, remote as fuck, (only accessible by presumably beautiful motorcycling roads) inhabited by the seventy-year-old results of generational incest, captive workforce politics, and fundamentalist religion. 

-folks, it's not a stereotype because it never happens that way. Have relatives in Kentucky? It's a beautiful place?  How dare I?  

  

 Beginning mere hours after the Biker made his Kentucky Pronouncement, I've done all kinds of research on this region, going on Google Maps street view, accessing blogs, comments, really diving deep, doing this for years, and...it's depressing.  No, it's more than depressing. It's GRIM.

But hey!  We qualify for subsidized housing! 

  

   HOORAY!!!!!  

We can stay here, in Bellingham, where the elderly generally don't sit out next to the road gumming corn cobs (depending on what part of town you're in.) We have a chance to live out our lives in one of the few parts of America that won't be seriously affected by the results of global warming, that has good medical care nearby, that is liberal, and where I am settled the fuck in dammit.

Lengthy Rant Follows.

Now it's just a process of applying, waiting, re-applying, waiting, being on absolute minute-perfect time to appointments, having the paperwork lost, applying, being on time for appointments, being interviewed, having the paperwork lost, talking to five different people who do not talk to one another or check their computers and have no idea what's going on, 

   

re-applying, talking to people, talking to more people, waiting, being told we don't qualify, being told we do qualify, being told there are no units, telling people that we are already living in a qualified unit and have owner pre-approval, being told that they'll have to speak to a supervisor and then disappearing without a trace, waiting, re-applying, 

   

being told our paperwork is incomplete, being told that we don't meet certain criteria by someone who has no idea what they're talking about, and most of all, being pleasant, clean, well-spoken but not too well spoken, 

   

using our nicest manners, not maintaining eye contact for too long,being clean clean clean but not too well dressed, heaven forfend you be too well-dressed, 

  

Madame you are entirely too picturesque. Begone!  

being absolutely polite and above all deferential, and being told your paperwork has been lost. And showing up on pinpoint-perfect time for interviews.

Oh!  And they want every last detail of your finances too. From you. In person.

   

...because this shit happens fifteen times a day and they're READY for it!!!   

Of course, being a government agency, they can look that shit up online using our Social Security numbers - and this is absolutely true - but that's waaaaaay too much work.

They want you to do that for them, by bringing in paper documentations and filling out yet more forms. Which ends up making more work for them. Which they in turn resent you for the more often you show up. Because government agency.

Luckily I have past experience with this kind of shit.  Still, thoughts and prayers folks.  

  ...because I am way less tolerant than I used to be.