Friday, August 7, 2020

I woke up in a Soho doorway, a policeman knew my name...

...so tell me who the fuck are YOU? 

Mistress Maddie got me thinking about actors that have made me see something of myself in them.  I had to give that a lot of thought.  I can recall a lot of roles that have made me think 'Yeah, I'd love to be like that in real life,' but that's admiration, not recognition.

Truthfully, I come up with Jack Nicholson, Bea Arthur and a comic strip character from National Lampoon - Bonnie, from Trots and Bonnie.  I always did love that 1920's - 1940's thing Bonnie had going on.  

 Jack Nicholson.  He's smart, and he's exhausting. I express myself in an animated fashion and if I'm on a tangent, you'll have a front seat to an exhaustive, colorful, manic tirade.  The facial expressions, the tones of voice, the sarcasm, the fucked-up sense of humor...yeah.  I've never come through a door with a fire axe after Shelley Duvall, but I could. I have a fire axe.

Bea Arthur is a given.  I am a much stumpier Bea Arthur.  Snide?  Attitude?  Wears long vests? Yup.

Now.  Who would I like to be?

1. Jimi Page - Stanley Clarke.  I would like to look like Nichelle Nichols, and I would like to sing like Joni Mitchell.  I would settle for a direct talent transplant from Les Claypool because God knows I don't want to look like the dude.

2.   Deadpool minus cancer - Mr. Spock - Charlize Theron in Aeon Flux - Gandalf.  Kind of a warrior mage thing going on, heavy on the kung fu.  Actually... 

3. Make that Mr. Spock - Gandalf.  I would have the Order of Vulcan and be The Servant of the Secret Flame of Anor.

4. Or wait.  Charlize Theron in Mad Max: Fury Road - Charlize Theron in Aeon Flux.  One has a robot arm (SO STINKIN' COOL) can drive a semi, and will kick your ass;  and one has EXTREME FASHION, mad Kung Fu skills, a friend with hands for feet, and will kick your ass.

So let's reduce this stock.  What you get is a foxy, musically talented, violent genius. (Not quite Buckaroo Banzai, but you wouldn't have to put up with Jeff Goldblum either.)  We will name this perfect creature Jistanelleni Despochadalf  Theron.  

Well then, let's get ready!  Coming up next:   Jistanelleni Despochadalf  Theron - Musically Talented, Violent, Foxy Genius  



7 comments:

  1. Damn, I can't even think of a character I'd identify with because I know too many fucking actors who are stupid shits that know how to memorize lines and take direction. Or maybe I'm just in a fucked up place mentally right now. xoxo

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  2. When it's like that, you cannot go wrong with Bette Davis. Just tiptoe all the way through her career and pick as many Bette's as you want, mix and match! I hope your mentally fucked up place gets a fabulous makeover, lady. XO

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  3. To tell you the truth Bea, Breathless Mahoney is still my top pick. It's unbelievable. But many of my close clan say, "You know what Mads, if Mae West and Tallulah Bankhead had a baby..you'd be the result." Can't disagree. I like my men. I like my gin. Just the other day Ms Moorecock says there was 7 men at the door waitin for me. I says, Oh I'm exhausted, send one home.

    And your right...I can see the Nicholson thing with you. Look no further than the previous post. On a side note, the scariest thing about the Shinning WAS Shelly Duvall. She was scary as hell looking screaming bloody murder. She's very odd looking.

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  4. I always have a mental image of you being tall, and certainly a warrior.
    Me? Annie Potts from Pretty in Pink.
    Sx

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  5. Mistress Maddie: Tahllulah! Oh my stars and garters! You heavenly beast! I can get with Breathless Mahoney, I see that in every post of yours. Shake that tail! As far as poor Shelley goes, she...certainly gives good scary. To this day, even. *gasp*

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  6. Ms. Scarlet: Nope, I am a short little hobbit. You, I see a wild woodland nymph with a feather quill pen, writing dirty limericks for cash money! I've never seen Pretty In Pink. I'll have to change that, won't I?

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  7. Hey, sweetpea! For some reason, I haven't been able to get past the gatekeeper on your blog since Friday! Today it worked and here I am. Thanks for the Bette Davis suggestion, I'll have to step away from being Baby Jane this week! xoxo

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