Well, I've made friends with the neighborhood crackhead, and I have to say, he's a nice fella. He and his dog come up the sidewalk every day, around two in the afternoon or so, and we have a friendly conversation, and we play with the dog, and it's nice. Then he goes up two apartment complexes, cops at the third one, and comes back down the sidewalk about forty-five minutes later screaming on his cell phone at....somebody, about...stuff. His dog takes this all pretty philosophically. If I'm out, he'll break off the crazy for half a second and go 'Hey! Still outside, huh? See ya!' and go right back to shouting gibberish into his phone.
My house seems to be his midway point, where he builds his rant up into it's grand peak. He'll be out there posturing and playing to the cheap seats, declaiming and flapping away, and children, there is corn growing across the street. Corn. An acre of corn. I live in a town that just passed the 4 digit population mark and there is corn growing across the street and the only crackhead in town is flapping away out there, just street as hell, motherfucking and I gone smash that pussy, all shit, nigga, and...corn.
There is corn.
Many evenings my husband and I will be sitting here and he'll be right outside on the sidewalk, flailing and gesticulating and shouting, while his dog sits patiently and waits for him to work it out. Then he goes on his way, still exclaiming. It's like knowing two completely different people who own the same dog and have the same tattoos.
As part of the 'We're sorry' package my husband got for being told that he was going to be out of work by next....February? June? Who knows? he was given a $200.00 gift card. Visa. Spend it anywhere. So he and I took a weekend to go to our happy place, which is Anacortes, WA. We stayed in 'our' hotel, and ate at 'our' little hideaway, and....slept. And hung out in our room watching television. We each had our own king sized bed to starfish in, there was a kitchenette, and we napped, ate crap from Safeway, and napped some more. Yes, WE know how to party. I have never needed to get out of town so bad or had such a relaxing vacation in my life.
I went out and bought myself a new hedge trimmer because I'm 60 and I get to use power tools. I went through all the wilted stuff in the front yard like Grim Death, and now that I've got a look at what's been happening at dirt level I can lever up some stuff that's been bugging the crap out of me. (I'm a Vita SackvilleWest follower - if you don't like it, rip it out. And I'm rippin'.) Now that the smoke has cleared and we've had a couple of rains, my campaign of Death is proceeding with resounding success.
But the best thing? Is that the season has changed, and it's cool enough and dry enough now at night to sleep. This is the last year I go without an air conditioner. Period. This winter, when they're cheap, I'm gonna get one of those little room sized ones that you hang on the wall and never look back because I'M 60 AND I GET TO HAVE AIR CONDITIONING.