That Burning Sensation

My home state is on fire. Oregon. I have family down there that were forced to evacuate, and now the town they were relocated to has a lightning-caused fire heading toward it.  What the fuck, universe?  Seriously what the fuck?  In August and September, it's California that's supposed to catch fire.  And yeah, it's on fire too, but that shit should stop at the goddamn border. The Northern Cascades is not supposed to catch on this much damn fire.  But it is,  because there's two years worth of old, un-cleared fire debris on the ground upon which it can feed, that and un-managed, standing beetle kill.  

I've seen that shit.  Whole hillsides covered in the zombie remains of evergreen trees, the ends of the branches curled upward.  The beetles eat the cambium layer of the tree, which is the living system of the plant, and leave a sooty black tinge in the old lignin layers.  Woodworkers swoon over beetle-kill wood. I'd like to jam it up their asses.  Thank your sorry flabby ass, Trump, for fucking over the Forest Service.  If that shit had been managed, none of this would be happening.  Those damaged forests would have been selectively logged and the lumber milled and turned into a salable commodity instead of left to stand and become a death trap.

The little Catholic girl who lives inside me wants to go do a Rosary service on behalf of Oregon.  She and I did one during 911 happened.  No, I'm not religious, but Catholicism is as much a way of life as it is a religion, and I was culturally indoctrinated way young.  If nothing else, I'll get to go cry in a nice, quiet place with a bunch of other sad people, which will be comforting.  As it stands I drunk dialed my psychiatrist and my daughter.  My daughter was very nice about it. I expect my psychologist to call on Monday and laugh at me, because I was pretty lit by the time I reached his message service.

I do my best to choose joy each morning.  Whenever I find myself falling into one of my well-worn hate grooves I pull myself out and leave it behind.  And this has been successful. I know what I can and cannot do as far as world situations go.  But when my home goes up in flames, the most beautiful state in America...when the forests that rivaled any elven landscape of Tolkeins go up in flames, I can only mourn for what has been lost and hope that the planet finds it's own new balance in the years to come.