Thursday, December 17, 2020

Quaint Vignettes From My Charming Rural Idyll

 The BB had to go get a secondary cataract removed today.  This procedure took five minutes, was accomplished with the use of a laser, and caused him no discomfort whatsoever - aside from having to be a passenger while I drove him home.  Oh, that man cannot abide being a passenger, no no no no no.  If he is not in control of the vehicle then his world is just all out of alignment.  But with one pupil blown out like Trump in mid-rant, nope. Ah, but I had thoughtfully provided him with 10mg. of Valium before the procedure, so he was a pleasant and chatty car companion, instead of his usual clutching, gasping, putting on the passenger brakes and constantly checking the speedometer and giving helpful little criticisms;  and thus was spared having to walk 16 miles home in the rain.  

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The pro-Trump contingent has, if anything, only put up more signs, purchased and home-made.  I honestly think these people are crazy.  The results are in, the electoral college has closed up shop, the show is over, but Trumps Theatre of the Absurd continues, and a disturbing number of people out there are still not using their native reasoning capabilities.  And I mean absolutely refusing to look outside their narrow worldview.  These are generally the very first people who would tell you that this nation needs unity, too.  Most of them are small business owners; all farmers are small business owners - but still fully invested in the fantasy and the show while determinedly ignoring the very real and lasting damage that has been done to this country by the Funny Orange Monkey. You want to ask these guys "Would Jesus brag about grabbing women by the pussy?  Would someone who was concerned with your well-being tear apart the Public Land Use Act? Would you leave your fifteen-year-old daughter alone in a room with Trump?"  

These are God-fearing, well meaning people for the most part, and the obscene shit show that was spread all over Hells half-acre for the last four years has been nothing but diametrically opposed to everything Christian and well intentioned - but their allegiance continues, and I do not understand it.

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My quest for weirdness continues and I've turned up a doozy.  John Jacob Astor Jr. - of 'died on the Titanic' fame - wrote a science fiction novel in 1894!  And I'm reading it on Internet Archive!  He was the black sheep of the famous Astor family, considered too mentally unstable and sickly to inherit, although he was still worth several billion in today's dollars when he bounced off the iceberg because the Astors had a metric buttload of money and laid some on him as a 'no hard feelings' gesture.  I'm willing to bet JJA Senior took one look at this work of sheer WTF, titled "A Journey In Other Worlds:  A Romance Of The Future" and changed his will accordingly.  

There are not enough !!!!!'s to describe this mans whackery.  I think him and Mr. Piggot (of "(Paraphrase) After you have retired for the night, inject a quart of soapy water up your bunghole to prevent tuberculosis, which is caused by millions of microscopic worms. This is guaranteed to 'knock the worms silly.'" fame)  would have gotten along famously.  I can see them now, smoking cigars and talking about aethric vibrations and electric shampoos and the pneumatic creatures that roam Saturns' vast prairies.

4 comments:

  1. Funny how a man can be patient, calm and kind when teaching someone to drive...and become a teeth-clenching, dashboard-grabbing wimp when being driven.
    I thought it was just me, but I've seen his passenger-brake foot pumping up and down when we've been in the back seat.Weird. But pleased you'd doped him beforehand, you kind wifey.

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  2. Jack Astor's Bar and Grill is a restaurant chain in Canada. Don't ask me why they named it after John Jacob "Jack" Astor.

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