Friday, April 30, 2021

Oh Gooooooood Not The Fuckin' House Again

 Well that turned out to be a big ol' fussy fit over nothing.  As usual, we were so busy being RIGHT at each other we didn't hear the other person agreeing.

1. So we get a Class C, probably used.  We take long trips.  We return home.

2. I have to contact a bunch of city employees about what it would take to demolish this house and put a singlewide or a Tiny House in it's place.  So far it's looking grim - and the city just updated our planning maps.  We are at 100% danger for a. A Mt. Baker Lahaar event  b. A huge seismic event, with massive areas of liquifaction   c. A total flood every single winter, with only four tiny little places in town that are naturally above the flood area.  We're used to this, though - it's a shallow flood and doesn't reach our foundations.  d.  Totally being wiped out by flaming lava if Mt. Baker becomes fully active   e. Attack by pterodactyls. Probably.  And all those things have to be taken into consideration when any new construction takes place here - which means massive honkin' fees.

I'll tell you right now:  It's the devil you know.  We'll stay here.  We'll probably even stay in the same house and just let it kind of sag around us over the years.  Make friends with entropy.  Embrace change.

I'll make the calls, but I'm pretty certain that we'll choose to stay in this house and just try and keep ahead of the major stuff.  Otherwise we're looking at putting in a special kind of foundation made for clay-base seismic conditions prone to flooding, which means that it would be five freakin' feet tall and cost one metric bajillion dollars before we even get to the part where the singlewide gets plopped on top. It would look ridiculous standing five feet up in the air like a boxcar on a plinth, and it would also have to have Hurricane Alley tiedowns because of the high winds here; plus it would be utterly exposed to the full force of the wind.  By the time all that effort and money has been spent; naaaaaaah, fuck it.

So yeah.  That's all I got.


4 comments:

Jon said...

"If the shoe doesn't fit, must we change the foot?" - Gloria Steinem

Jx

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Perhaps you could ensnare the pterodactyls and have them 'James and the Giant Peach' your home away from the impending earthquake/flood/lava/hurricane?

Steve. Because 'Steve' is almost as nice a name as 'Paul'. said...

Jon: I did not know that Ms. Steinem was that kind of woman. *blushes* What kind of foot did she have in mind? Now I feel like putting on socks or something. GEEZE.

Steve. Because 'Steve' is almost as nice a name as 'Paul'. said...

Inexplicable DeVice: Have I told you lately that I adore you? Well. First of all, the mighty Pacific Northwest Pterodactyl is one of the few unconquered species on the planet. With their mighty steel towers and formidable fortifications, the minefields and the high level of alert in place at their colonies, the PNW Pterodactyl is not interested in your problems and want you to go away and stop bothering them because they suck.